Because I love really terrible jokes, today, which also happens to be my 17th birthday, has been an amusing day for me. When I woke up Farrah Fawcett heard it was my birthday and died from the shock. Right after I opened my presents Michael Jackson heard that he'd missed the event and died from the guilt. Of course that's not how they really died. Their deaths were an act of terrorism by North Korea who has been super jealous that Iran has been in the news so much lately. Never mind all the kids dying in Africa, didn't ANYONE hear it was my birthday?
Is there really a need for me to say that I'm joking? I had a great day. I got a manicure, went out to lunch with my parents, saw a movie and opened presents. It was a good hair day. I got a new book and clothes. Plus a delicious cupcake and oh so yummy sushi! What more could I ask for? Though it just now occurred to me that I didn't make a birthday wish. Well, I better do that soon because when I said "What more could I ask for?" there actually is more that I could ask for. And I've had wishes come true in the past so I'm not just going to throw this one away because I had an amazing day and I have a great life. If I were a millionaire I wouldn't throw money away just because I was too lazy to do anything with it, right? So I will make a wish soon.
Speaking of wishes here is something that everyone should know. If you want something, ask for it. So many people that I know don't make birthday wish lists and then seem disappointed when they don't get what they want. Well some people don't know what they want and that's their own problem but other people, like me, know exactly what they want. If that happens to be the case make a wish list! People want to know that they are getting you something that you'll like. So be detailed. Don't just say that you want some clothes, and books and Cds. List specific things, where to buy them and what size or color if applicable. It works and I have the proof since I am sitting here writing a blog while wearing a very pretty dress in the exact color that I wanted that fits me perfectly. Sure it comes off as a bit demanding. And in an effort to include a wide variety of gifts that you're friends and family can buy for you to enjoy, you could get a little carried away. It really is worth it though. Who wants to spend money on a gift that the gift receiver wont enjoy? If the person receiving the gift doesn't like it then they wind up feeling bad too because the person wasted money on them. Sure, it's the thought that counts, but it's the money that's spent. I use wishlist.com to let people know what I want.
Congratulations to all of you who survived my birthday that was too intense for Farrah and Michael to live through. Perhaps next year I'll try to have more joyful events on my birthday.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I'm So Not Qualified For This
For years now I've been giving advice to people who need it. Somehow in middle school it was decided that I'm trustworthy and after that people started spilling all their secrets to me. But you don't quite understand. When I say people I don't just mean my friends and classmates. No, strangers, random people I don't know! Like someone advertised that I was the advice giver or put some sort of spell on me that attracts people with problems. I'm not quite sure how, but for years I've been an advice giver to everyone from my friends to random people that I don't know on the Internet. I don't really mind it. I like helping people, but the thing is I'm barely ever qualified to give people the advice that they need. Basically all my knowledge that I share with people comes from nine weeks of a high school psychology class, reading, and listening to other people's problems. Still people come to me to figure out their problems for them. So, I've decided to fully embrace this role of advice giver and give you the advice that everyone asks about the most. It's all about love.
First off let's start with "How to know if you like someone." No more of that "He's really nice, but I don't know." Or "She's great, but kinda weird." Next time that someone asks you if you like someone ask yourself these two simple questions: 1. Do you want to hold their hand? And 2. Do they give you butterflies? Don't think about it- just answer. If you answer yes to those two questions then you can answer yes to the person who asked if you liked someone. That's easy enough right? So let's move on to something more complicated.
How do you know if someone likes you? Usually if you're trying to figure out if someone likes you, you like them and thus your judgement is clouded. So don't go with the "Well, he's been acting really nice to me." method. You're being too hopeful. People with a crush can turn a simple smile into a sign that someone loves them. Instead look at their eyes. If their eyes twinkle when they look at you then that means they probably like you. That or they got something in their eyes so they're watering. Or maybe they just have watery eyes. But generally if they look happy to see you that's a good sign. There really is no way to tell for sure though.
So how do you let someone know you like them. Usually people do this with a secret method called "flirting". I, honestly, am not a good flirt. I assume that me flirting would look a bit like a giraffe trying to run in high heels. A friend once tried to give me a lesson in flirting but it didn't go very well. There was some unnecessary hair flipping and then saying "Hey, what's up?" in a cute bubbly, slightly sexy way. The lesson didn't go any farther than that. First of all the unnecessary hair flip messed up my hair and I spent most of the time trying to get my hair to look right again. And then my "Hey, what's up?" was just kind of creepy and weird. My dad once told me that I should wear my hair in a ponytail and then take it down and shake my hair out whenever I pass a group of cute guys. Once again there's the whole issue of the hair thing. I especially don't think it's a good idea if you have curly or messy hair. It seems like it could wind up looking more painful than sexy. Oh and no cheesy pick up lines. Once this boy that looked like he was ten years old (maybe) tried to get mine and my friends' phone numbers by saying that he lost his little brother at the mall and was looking for him. So of course he needed our numbers in case we found his little brother (that we would of course recognize. sarcasm...) and he could call us. Wait what? Yeah, lame.
Well, I think that the only truly effective way to let someone know that you like them is to be very bold. Like really, really bold. Some people are like me and wouldn't know if someone liked them even if they hit them in the head with a giant sign that says "I LOVE YOU!" in big huge letters. Some people need more than huge gigantic hints. Sometimes the best way to let someone know you like them is to march right up to them and say "I have a crush on you. Will you go out with me?" The worst that could happen is that they say no and then you feel mortified and crushed and humiliated. So go for it!!!
Now how do you get people to like you? Well remember this. Be happy, smile and be fun. Try to keep all your whining, complaining and tragic life story to yourself or your friends, but preferably just to yourself. And like other people. If you like people, then people will like you! It's basic physics!
What about when you have a fight with your boyfriend/ girlfriend? You think this would be the easiest thing to figure out. You have a fight. You think it through privately and give each other space. Then you apologize. Don't get a friend to apologize or send messages for you, unless you're in fourth grade or something. Don't talk about how stupid the other person is during the fight. Think about it this way. No one is going to agree with you completely about everything but if the thing you disagree about is really important to you then maybe you weren't meant to be. On the other hand people fight all the time. Friends fight, parents fight, everyone fights. It's good to fight and let each other know how you feel instead of just pretending like you agree on everything.
What to do about exes? Don't do anything about an ex. Just leave them be. Don't talk about them or think about them or stalk them. If they're being a loser, it does not give you permission to be a loser too. And for every one's sake remember this- you know how much your friends hate hearing about how much you love someone 24/7? Well they hate hearing about how much you hate that person that you used to love even more. A friend's responsibility is to eat Ben and Jerry's and watch A Walk To Remember with you. They are not responsible for forming an anti (insert ex's name here) group to get revenge on them for breaking up with you. Sure if they do something really terrible like ask you out to prom as their back up date and then dump you when their first choice winds up being able to go you can have a bit of fun getting a little revenge. But please just leave the ex alone! No, they don't want to get back together with you. No, they aren't talking about you behind your back. And no, no one else cares.
What about staying friends with your ex? Uh...my answer is why? I can think of a few situations where this is maybe okay. Like if you were friends before and then dated for awhile but realized you liked being friends more. Or if they're going away, like moving or something and you don't want a long distance relationship but want to stay in touch. Most of the time I'm going to have to say no you cannot be friends with an ex. Mostly because when you break up it's like saying there is something about that person that you really don't like. Maybe you don't trust them or you fight all the time. Well why then would you want to be friends? I know the answer! Usually because you still like them. Even though the smart part of you says "I don't really trust them so we're breaking up." The stupid part of you says "I really like them." Well, you can't be friends with someone you don't trust. So listen to the smart part of you and determine if staying friends is really a good idea.
How do you make a long distance relationship work? Well, uh, if you're in high school then I don't really think you should. I have friends who don't live so nearby and it's hard staying in touch with them sometimes. There are lots of emails and phone calls and planning things weeks in advance so we can decide if I'm going to sleep over there or if they are going to sleepover here. Those are friends who live about 30 minutes away. And keep in mind we didn't start off with this distance. I've known both of the friends I'm talking about for years. So think about what a relationship is. What is a boyfriend or girlfriend? They take you out on dates, they hold your hand. That's not so easy to do when they live far away. So if you're in high school and you want someone to go on dates with and take you to school dances, I think the best idea is to look for someone who lives nearby. If you're willing to be in a serious relationship then you can make a long distance relationship work. In my opinion I think that the chances of a long distance relationship working out are pretty small. But hey, why not try?
Aren't you so happy? It's like all of my slightly cynical and great advice is written out and put in one place. I really don't know a thing about love, but trust me no one else does either. I've seen enough people mess up and break up to have a good idea of what is the right and wrong thing to do. Just have realistic expectations of people. Don't read Twilight and expect to find some guy who will stalk you and watch you sleep and save you from out of control cars. So go ahead- try and follow my advice. My best advice is to follow the advice you've been given.
First off let's start with "How to know if you like someone." No more of that "He's really nice, but I don't know." Or "She's great, but kinda weird." Next time that someone asks you if you like someone ask yourself these two simple questions: 1. Do you want to hold their hand? And 2. Do they give you butterflies? Don't think about it- just answer. If you answer yes to those two questions then you can answer yes to the person who asked if you liked someone. That's easy enough right? So let's move on to something more complicated.
How do you know if someone likes you? Usually if you're trying to figure out if someone likes you, you like them and thus your judgement is clouded. So don't go with the "Well, he's been acting really nice to me." method. You're being too hopeful. People with a crush can turn a simple smile into a sign that someone loves them. Instead look at their eyes. If their eyes twinkle when they look at you then that means they probably like you. That or they got something in their eyes so they're watering. Or maybe they just have watery eyes. But generally if they look happy to see you that's a good sign. There really is no way to tell for sure though.
So how do you let someone know you like them. Usually people do this with a secret method called "flirting". I, honestly, am not a good flirt. I assume that me flirting would look a bit like a giraffe trying to run in high heels. A friend once tried to give me a lesson in flirting but it didn't go very well. There was some unnecessary hair flipping and then saying "Hey, what's up?" in a cute bubbly, slightly sexy way. The lesson didn't go any farther than that. First of all the unnecessary hair flip messed up my hair and I spent most of the time trying to get my hair to look right again. And then my "Hey, what's up?" was just kind of creepy and weird. My dad once told me that I should wear my hair in a ponytail and then take it down and shake my hair out whenever I pass a group of cute guys. Once again there's the whole issue of the hair thing. I especially don't think it's a good idea if you have curly or messy hair. It seems like it could wind up looking more painful than sexy. Oh and no cheesy pick up lines. Once this boy that looked like he was ten years old (maybe) tried to get mine and my friends' phone numbers by saying that he lost his little brother at the mall and was looking for him. So of course he needed our numbers in case we found his little brother (that we would of course recognize. sarcasm...) and he could call us. Wait what? Yeah, lame.
Well, I think that the only truly effective way to let someone know that you like them is to be very bold. Like really, really bold. Some people are like me and wouldn't know if someone liked them even if they hit them in the head with a giant sign that says "I LOVE YOU!" in big huge letters. Some people need more than huge gigantic hints. Sometimes the best way to let someone know you like them is to march right up to them and say "I have a crush on you. Will you go out with me?" The worst that could happen is that they say no and then you feel mortified and crushed and humiliated. So go for it!!!
Now how do you get people to like you? Well remember this. Be happy, smile and be fun. Try to keep all your whining, complaining and tragic life story to yourself or your friends, but preferably just to yourself. And like other people. If you like people, then people will like you! It's basic physics!
What about when you have a fight with your boyfriend/ girlfriend? You think this would be the easiest thing to figure out. You have a fight. You think it through privately and give each other space. Then you apologize. Don't get a friend to apologize or send messages for you, unless you're in fourth grade or something. Don't talk about how stupid the other person is during the fight. Think about it this way. No one is going to agree with you completely about everything but if the thing you disagree about is really important to you then maybe you weren't meant to be. On the other hand people fight all the time. Friends fight, parents fight, everyone fights. It's good to fight and let each other know how you feel instead of just pretending like you agree on everything.
What to do about exes? Don't do anything about an ex. Just leave them be. Don't talk about them or think about them or stalk them. If they're being a loser, it does not give you permission to be a loser too. And for every one's sake remember this- you know how much your friends hate hearing about how much you love someone 24/7? Well they hate hearing about how much you hate that person that you used to love even more. A friend's responsibility is to eat Ben and Jerry's and watch A Walk To Remember with you. They are not responsible for forming an anti (insert ex's name here) group to get revenge on them for breaking up with you. Sure if they do something really terrible like ask you out to prom as their back up date and then dump you when their first choice winds up being able to go you can have a bit of fun getting a little revenge. But please just leave the ex alone! No, they don't want to get back together with you. No, they aren't talking about you behind your back. And no, no one else cares.
What about staying friends with your ex? Uh...my answer is why? I can think of a few situations where this is maybe okay. Like if you were friends before and then dated for awhile but realized you liked being friends more. Or if they're going away, like moving or something and you don't want a long distance relationship but want to stay in touch. Most of the time I'm going to have to say no you cannot be friends with an ex. Mostly because when you break up it's like saying there is something about that person that you really don't like. Maybe you don't trust them or you fight all the time. Well why then would you want to be friends? I know the answer! Usually because you still like them. Even though the smart part of you says "I don't really trust them so we're breaking up." The stupid part of you says "I really like them." Well, you can't be friends with someone you don't trust. So listen to the smart part of you and determine if staying friends is really a good idea.
How do you make a long distance relationship work? Well, uh, if you're in high school then I don't really think you should. I have friends who don't live so nearby and it's hard staying in touch with them sometimes. There are lots of emails and phone calls and planning things weeks in advance so we can decide if I'm going to sleep over there or if they are going to sleepover here. Those are friends who live about 30 minutes away. And keep in mind we didn't start off with this distance. I've known both of the friends I'm talking about for years. So think about what a relationship is. What is a boyfriend or girlfriend? They take you out on dates, they hold your hand. That's not so easy to do when they live far away. So if you're in high school and you want someone to go on dates with and take you to school dances, I think the best idea is to look for someone who lives nearby. If you're willing to be in a serious relationship then you can make a long distance relationship work. In my opinion I think that the chances of a long distance relationship working out are pretty small. But hey, why not try?
Aren't you so happy? It's like all of my slightly cynical and great advice is written out and put in one place. I really don't know a thing about love, but trust me no one else does either. I've seen enough people mess up and break up to have a good idea of what is the right and wrong thing to do. Just have realistic expectations of people. Don't read Twilight and expect to find some guy who will stalk you and watch you sleep and save you from out of control cars. So go ahead- try and follow my advice. My best advice is to follow the advice you've been given.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Myths
It seems like everyone has "expert" advice on how to stay beautiful, but to be honest I don't believe any of them. It's not that I'm saying I'm any smarter than any of the girls at school who spend every break between class reapplying makeup in the bathroom mirror. I'm just saying that they're wrong...mostly.
To start things off I felt we should start with my favorite myth. Since middle school I heard people say that eating chocolate can cause acne. It is my joy to say that they were wrong!!! According to The Acne Resource Center, chocolate or for that matter what foods you eat are not what cause acne. Acne is caused by oils glands, genetics, old skin cells, and hormones- not chocolate. But then why the myth? Well some people do breakout when they eat certain foods like chocolate or potato chips, but the breakout is most likely an allergic reaction to some food. So someone with a chocolate allergy would breakout with what could look like acne if they were to eat chocolate, but everyone else should be fine. Of course eating well doesn't hurt if you want clear skin, but you don't have to sacrifice chocolate. In fact, chocolate has been found to relieve stress, which actually can cause you to break out. Personally, I love chocolate and I have never noticed any correlation between eating chocolate and breaking out. If you think about it though this is a pretty good myth to tell your friends if you want more chocolate to yourself.
Speaking of acne, what about the myth that the sun can cure acne? Well, mostly false according to Acne Myths, Etc. There isn't any scientifically proven reason why the sun would cure acne but there are a few plausible explanations. The most likely is probably that the sun relieves stress. Just think about it.... for months it's been cold and rainy and cloudy and finally it's sunny and warm! You go outside to tan and it's the most relaxed you've felt in months. Also, the sun provides vitamin D and some people may have a deficiency. Those with a vitamin D deficiency can be more prone to acne, so spending more time in the sun would help. And then there's also the fact that people can also make whatever they believe happen. In other words, hearing that the sun can cure acne acts as a placebo and thus the people don't have acne if they spend time in the sun. You can make anything happen if you're just stubborn enough to believe.
In an effort to make this blog seem well planned out I will continue to talk about sun myths with the myth that you can't get tan while wearing sunscreen. The truth is you can get a tan while wearing sunscreen says Discount Beauty Center. You can also get freckles and wrinkles while wearing sunscreen. The thing about sunscreen is that the 15 in SPF 15 only means that you'll be protected longer in the sun. It's impossible to say how much longer but basically it's 15 times longer than your skin could protect yourself. Sunscreen is kind of like giving your skin superpowers. Like I might usually be able to run a mile, but with superpowers I could run 15 miles. Impressive right? So like if you usually burn 5 minutes after walking outside then you need something like SPF 12 to spend an hour outside without burning. The most important thing to know about sunscreen is that it does not protect against UVA rays which can cause wrinkles, freckles and could even cause skin cancer. In order to get protection from UVA rays you need a broad spectrum sunscreen. So wear sunscreen and tan away! But before you do read the next myth.
Someone please tell me who in the world can up with the idea of base tans? Really just think for a second. Tanning beds are dangerous- so dangerous that states have made laws restricting who can use a tanning bed. So how does it make sense to go to a tanning bed before a vacation to protect yourself from the harmful effects of the sun? Well, it doesn't really, according to a University of Michigan Health System article. Basically all those dead skin cells that are more commonly known as a tan give you the fabulous protection of SPF 4... maybe. And you already spent what's equivalent to probably a whole day at the beach with no sun protection on getting that tan in the first place. Base tans... oh, the irony.
Last but not least we have a myth about shaving. I really hate shaving, and I am not the only one. I'm lazy and the effort it takes to shave without cutting myself is annoying. We all just want to get laser hair removal and get it over with for good. There is some good news though. The myth that your hair grows back darker and thicker when you shave is false. But wait that's actually bad news for me since my hair is blond and laser hair removal only really works on people with dark hair. And come to think of it that's bad news for all of those guys at school trying to grow mustaches. If only hair would grow back thicker and darker. Then I could get laser hair removal and guys could have nice thick facial hair. So why does it seem like you're hair is growing back thicker and darker? Well according to a Newsweek article, it's sort of an illusion. Hair is thicker at the root because the hair near the ends gets damaged and worn out. When you shave and the hair starts to grow back in you only see the undamaged worn out hair but if you let it grow out it wont be any thicker than it was. As for the color, you're just imagining that too. The stubble contrasts against your skin more than when all the little hairs blend in together.
The moral of this blog is you are more likely to hear accurate information while watching t.v. than during a trip to the girl's room in between class. Unless of course you watch The Hills or something like that....
The oh so helpful websites
http://www.acne-resource.org/acne-articles/chocolate-myth.html
http://www.acnemythsetc.com/acne_vs_the_sun.html
http://blog.discountbeautycenter.com/skin-care/10-myths-about-sunscreen-debunked/
http://www.med.umich.edu/opm/newspage/2004/hmtan.htm
http://www.newsweek.com/id/78014
To start things off I felt we should start with my favorite myth. Since middle school I heard people say that eating chocolate can cause acne. It is my joy to say that they were wrong!!! According to The Acne Resource Center, chocolate or for that matter what foods you eat are not what cause acne. Acne is caused by oils glands, genetics, old skin cells, and hormones- not chocolate. But then why the myth? Well some people do breakout when they eat certain foods like chocolate or potato chips, but the breakout is most likely an allergic reaction to some food. So someone with a chocolate allergy would breakout with what could look like acne if they were to eat chocolate, but everyone else should be fine. Of course eating well doesn't hurt if you want clear skin, but you don't have to sacrifice chocolate. In fact, chocolate has been found to relieve stress, which actually can cause you to break out. Personally, I love chocolate and I have never noticed any correlation between eating chocolate and breaking out. If you think about it though this is a pretty good myth to tell your friends if you want more chocolate to yourself.
Speaking of acne, what about the myth that the sun can cure acne? Well, mostly false according to Acne Myths, Etc. There isn't any scientifically proven reason why the sun would cure acne but there are a few plausible explanations. The most likely is probably that the sun relieves stress. Just think about it.... for months it's been cold and rainy and cloudy and finally it's sunny and warm! You go outside to tan and it's the most relaxed you've felt in months. Also, the sun provides vitamin D and some people may have a deficiency. Those with a vitamin D deficiency can be more prone to acne, so spending more time in the sun would help. And then there's also the fact that people can also make whatever they believe happen. In other words, hearing that the sun can cure acne acts as a placebo and thus the people don't have acne if they spend time in the sun. You can make anything happen if you're just stubborn enough to believe.
In an effort to make this blog seem well planned out I will continue to talk about sun myths with the myth that you can't get tan while wearing sunscreen. The truth is you can get a tan while wearing sunscreen says Discount Beauty Center. You can also get freckles and wrinkles while wearing sunscreen. The thing about sunscreen is that the 15 in SPF 15 only means that you'll be protected longer in the sun. It's impossible to say how much longer but basically it's 15 times longer than your skin could protect yourself. Sunscreen is kind of like giving your skin superpowers. Like I might usually be able to run a mile, but with superpowers I could run 15 miles. Impressive right? So like if you usually burn 5 minutes after walking outside then you need something like SPF 12 to spend an hour outside without burning. The most important thing to know about sunscreen is that it does not protect against UVA rays which can cause wrinkles, freckles and could even cause skin cancer. In order to get protection from UVA rays you need a broad spectrum sunscreen. So wear sunscreen and tan away! But before you do read the next myth.
Someone please tell me who in the world can up with the idea of base tans? Really just think for a second. Tanning beds are dangerous- so dangerous that states have made laws restricting who can use a tanning bed. So how does it make sense to go to a tanning bed before a vacation to protect yourself from the harmful effects of the sun? Well, it doesn't really, according to a University of Michigan Health System article. Basically all those dead skin cells that are more commonly known as a tan give you the fabulous protection of SPF 4... maybe. And you already spent what's equivalent to probably a whole day at the beach with no sun protection on getting that tan in the first place. Base tans... oh, the irony.
Last but not least we have a myth about shaving. I really hate shaving, and I am not the only one. I'm lazy and the effort it takes to shave without cutting myself is annoying. We all just want to get laser hair removal and get it over with for good. There is some good news though. The myth that your hair grows back darker and thicker when you shave is false. But wait that's actually bad news for me since my hair is blond and laser hair removal only really works on people with dark hair. And come to think of it that's bad news for all of those guys at school trying to grow mustaches. If only hair would grow back thicker and darker. Then I could get laser hair removal and guys could have nice thick facial hair. So why does it seem like you're hair is growing back thicker and darker? Well according to a Newsweek article, it's sort of an illusion. Hair is thicker at the root because the hair near the ends gets damaged and worn out. When you shave and the hair starts to grow back in you only see the undamaged worn out hair but if you let it grow out it wont be any thicker than it was. As for the color, you're just imagining that too. The stubble contrasts against your skin more than when all the little hairs blend in together.
The moral of this blog is you are more likely to hear accurate information while watching t.v. than during a trip to the girl's room in between class. Unless of course you watch The Hills or something like that....
The oh so helpful websites
http://www.acne-resource.org/acne-articles/chocolate-myth.html
http://www.acnemythsetc.com/acne_vs_the_sun.html
http://blog.discountbeautycenter.com/skin-care/10-myths-about-sunscreen-debunked/
http://www.med.umich.edu/opm/newspage/2004/hmtan.htm
http://www.newsweek.com/id/78014
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Everyone's a winner, right?
Have you ever noticed that only the people who are successful have been quoted saying things about how everyone can be successful? Surely they aren't the only ones who have encouraged others with their "You can do it, if you just believe" speeches. Of course people like Henry David Thoreau and Mark Twain and Thomas Edison think that everyone can be successful. If they worked their hardest and achieved their goals then anyone can, right?
Wrong! If we could all be successful then there wouldn't be any losers. Just think of a race, the whole point of it is to see who's the best. Well if there's a best then there's a worst. Someone comes in first place and someone comes in last. Sure maybe the winner was trying a little bit harder than everyone else but maybe they weren't. Maybe they just naturally had longer legs and a lighter body. In a perfect world we'd all be equipped with those long legs, but we aren't.
In a perfect world everyone would be successful. All the happy little skippy people in the world probably think "Well if we all help each other then we can all be successful" but that is just a stupid fairy tale dream. If we all helped each other no one would die, everyone would be happy, there would be world peace and everyone would have food while pretty whales swam happily through their beautiful oceans. Yeah, it's a great plan, but just like every other great plan, someone wont follow through with it and if one person doesn't follow through then the whole plan dies. Yippee!
Still though there is hope. If there are losers then there are winners too. You can be successful. You can even overcome the odds and be the one that everyone stares at with their mouths hanging open in awe. And if that doesn't work then there's always second place. Sure it's not winning but it's something. Maybe you wont achieve your dreams of becoming a millionaire but maybe you'll have a nice life living in a picture perfect suburb with a pretty car and a dog. We can't all be winners and losers either. Some of us have to be in the middle.
The point is that all of those successful people who say important things about success don't matter. Neither do parents or teachers or any sort of mentor in your life. All they really want is for you to work hard so you aren't a complete failure. Or maybe they say you can be successful so that you have some hope that maybe one day you can achieve your dreams whether they be to dig a whole to China or be a fairy tale princess. The important thing to know is we can't all be successful, but we can't all be failures either. Maybe if you work hard you'll get everything you've ever wanted and maybe you wont. Maybe success will just fall into your hands. Of course it's not fair and of course it makes no sense, but that's something we've always known. Life isn't fair.
Wrong! If we could all be successful then there wouldn't be any losers. Just think of a race, the whole point of it is to see who's the best. Well if there's a best then there's a worst. Someone comes in first place and someone comes in last. Sure maybe the winner was trying a little bit harder than everyone else but maybe they weren't. Maybe they just naturally had longer legs and a lighter body. In a perfect world we'd all be equipped with those long legs, but we aren't.
In a perfect world everyone would be successful. All the happy little skippy people in the world probably think "Well if we all help each other then we can all be successful" but that is just a stupid fairy tale dream. If we all helped each other no one would die, everyone would be happy, there would be world peace and everyone would have food while pretty whales swam happily through their beautiful oceans. Yeah, it's a great plan, but just like every other great plan, someone wont follow through with it and if one person doesn't follow through then the whole plan dies. Yippee!
Still though there is hope. If there are losers then there are winners too. You can be successful. You can even overcome the odds and be the one that everyone stares at with their mouths hanging open in awe. And if that doesn't work then there's always second place. Sure it's not winning but it's something. Maybe you wont achieve your dreams of becoming a millionaire but maybe you'll have a nice life living in a picture perfect suburb with a pretty car and a dog. We can't all be winners and losers either. Some of us have to be in the middle.
The point is that all of those successful people who say important things about success don't matter. Neither do parents or teachers or any sort of mentor in your life. All they really want is for you to work hard so you aren't a complete failure. Or maybe they say you can be successful so that you have some hope that maybe one day you can achieve your dreams whether they be to dig a whole to China or be a fairy tale princess. The important thing to know is we can't all be successful, but we can't all be failures either. Maybe if you work hard you'll get everything you've ever wanted and maybe you wont. Maybe success will just fall into your hands. Of course it's not fair and of course it makes no sense, but that's something we've always known. Life isn't fair.
Friday, June 5, 2009
School's Out
It is summer. On this day those words transcend all others. If someone were to be told that they'd won a million dollars they would probably react by saying, "HOLY FUDGE MUFFINS! I just won a million DOLLARS! And IT'S SUMMMMMER!!!" Because winning a million dollars during the school year is so inconsequential. I mean a million dollars just makes a bad day good. But a million dollars on an already awesome day? That is pretty freaking cool. It is summer.
Unfortunately, I did not win a million dollars today, but I did have a need for a toothbrush. I've been kicked out of my room by my grandparents so I've been staying at my friend's house. Of course I took my toothbrush because while I am certainly not neurotic about my dental hygiene, I do like to brush my teeth everyday, twice a day. Well, in order for tomorrow's plans to go much more smoothly I am spending the night at my own house, instead of my friend's. Earlier I went and got some necessities: my computer, a few changes of clothes, deodorant, a few books, etc.
Everything except of course my toothbrush.
Well luckily for me my mom was able to provide a toothbrush that she was 98% sure had never been used. With my luck, in that 2% chance that it was used, it was probably used on a dog's teeth or to clean a toilet seat. It's no matter though because when I saw the toothbrush it was clear to me that it was completely awesome. The 98% new guarantee came along with an entertaining and fun toothbrush that looks like a Crayola marker. Yes, that's right. My toothbrush is so cool a four year old would use it.
But alas, this toothbrush is too intense for a small child to use. The tiny bristles are clearly meant for extreme precision tooth brushing.
But wait! There's more. My toothbrush sticks to the mirror. Yeah, you heard me. It has a cool suction cup convenient for sticking your toothbrush to a mirror or window or even refrigerator.
I bet your toothbrush isn't that cool.
So, summer is an exciting time filled with amazing events such as using an extreme -precision- marker -shaped- suction -cup- toothbrush device. I hope that your summer is just as awesome (as if that's possible).
Unfortunately, I did not win a million dollars today, but I did have a need for a toothbrush. I've been kicked out of my room by my grandparents so I've been staying at my friend's house. Of course I took my toothbrush because while I am certainly not neurotic about my dental hygiene, I do like to brush my teeth everyday, twice a day. Well, in order for tomorrow's plans to go much more smoothly I am spending the night at my own house, instead of my friend's. Earlier I went and got some necessities: my computer, a few changes of clothes, deodorant, a few books, etc.
Everything except of course my toothbrush.
Well luckily for me my mom was able to provide a toothbrush that she was 98% sure had never been used. With my luck, in that 2% chance that it was used, it was probably used on a dog's teeth or to clean a toilet seat. It's no matter though because when I saw the toothbrush it was clear to me that it was completely awesome. The 98% new guarantee came along with an entertaining and fun toothbrush that looks like a Crayola marker. Yes, that's right. My toothbrush is so cool a four year old would use it.
But alas, this toothbrush is too intense for a small child to use. The tiny bristles are clearly meant for extreme precision tooth brushing.
But wait! There's more. My toothbrush sticks to the mirror. Yeah, you heard me. It has a cool suction cup convenient for sticking your toothbrush to a mirror or window or even refrigerator.
I bet your toothbrush isn't that cool.
So, summer is an exciting time filled with amazing events such as using an extreme -precision- marker -shaped- suction -cup- toothbrush device. I hope that your summer is just as awesome (as if that's possible).
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