No More Pressure

In a few days I will be experiencing my last first day of high school. As far as I can tell, every high school senior spends their senior year differently. Some use every second of every day trying to improve their grades enough to get into the college of their choice. Some use every second of every day to have fun in preparation to the fun that they will have at the party school of their choice. Some settle for what they are already good enough to do and decide to do that for the rest of their life. Some spend hours and hours trying to figure out what they want to do, where they want to go, who they want to be. I'm a misfit.

I don't study very often. I don't party. I don't settle for whatever is good enough. I've tried spending hours searching for what I would like to do with my future. The truth is none of those options have worked for me- ever! I'm a hopeless case! I'm every school counselor's worst nightmare! The year's worth of research on colleges and careers is in the trash or crammed into the back of a messy desk drawer.

It makes you wonder.... Could it be that, I, planner extraordinaire, am not ready to think about the future at all? Could it be that for once I just want to think about the present?

If so, what an inconvenient time!!!

I mean, what am I supposed to tell the mobs of adults constantly asking that question that high school students love or dread so much? Do I really need to say it? The oh so complicated question- "Where are you going to college?" Do I tell them that I've given up? That I just want to enjoy my last year of high school and when I want to I'll think about the future?

Maybe it's not such a good idea. Maybe it will take too long for me to figure it all out. At the end of the year when all my friends are getting their acceptance letters maybe I'll just begin looking at what I want to do. But anything else wouldn't be such a good idea either. How could it be a good idea to make a decision that will greatly affect the rest of my life just because I don't have enough time. It's not the kind of thing you can put a time limit on.

So senior year is FINALLY here!!! I've got awesome friends, great classes and a whole year to have fun! No pressure to be just a little bit better than my best. No pressure to plan my whole life in a week. No more pressure at all.