Losing My Cool

Well, I'm a dork. It's no secret really and I'm never ashamed to say it. Nerd, loser, geek- whatever. It's no insult to me. But even I don't freak out when I see a celebrity. I stay cool and indifferent.

After all a celebrity is just a person and to be perfectly honest every time I have seen a celebrity they were trying to be the least interesting they could be. They don't want to draw attention to themselves when out in public. Instead I'm usually drawn to look at the crazy man screaming at a wall, or someone pretending to be a statue. Sometimes it's even the nobody playing guitar with the case open up in front of them for tips. Those are the interesting people. I'd rather pay attention to them.

Upon seeing celebrities I usually care very little. Sometimes I wonder what they are doing and who all the people with them are. Then when I see my friends I tell them, because the coolest part about seeing a celebrity are the bragging rights. But really I have no interest in them. I like their music and movies, but as a person they aren't that intriguing.

There have been a couple of times where I've done things involving celebrities that were less than cool, but it wasn't so much the crazy fan girl in me as the crazy adventure. Well, except in the case of Pete Wentz who I was so close to touching after he crowd surfed at a concert once. The other case was Gabe from Cobra Starship. My friend and I spent a whole night trying to meet him, but not because I really wanted to meet him. Mostly because I thought it would be fun, like Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist or something.

Then of course there's the most recent incident.....

This incident can't exactly be put in the category of celebrity encounter because the person I was meeting was not a celebrity in the way most people think of celebrity. Okay, maybe he's not a celebrity at all. He is very popular on YouTube though. So in my world that means he's a celebrity.

I can't exactly explain how easy it is to lose your cool. One second you're standing in line to buy a t shirt at a concert. The next second, you're panicking over the talented musician that your classmates have never even heard of. And of course you awkwardly smile and then you don't know what you're going to say and when you should say something and then realize that you shouldn't stare so you look at the t shirts instead but that's boring so you look around the room awkwardly and then pay for your shirt and stand there stupidly in front of one of the coolest people you've ever had a chance to see in person and then OH MY GOSH! It's Greg Holden.

Then someone says something. Of course you don't really know who because you're too busy being a creepy fan girl. Then a picture in taken. A shoe is signed. You shake his hand. There is smiling. You still have no idea what is going on. Then you leave.

I can't believe I lost my cool. Sure, he's one of the people that I've most wanted to meet from the Internet, but really? I can be cool in front of Nicholas Cage! If I can't be cool while meeting Greg Holden I shudder to think about meeting anyone else off of my list of people I'd most like to meet. I mean what if one day I get a chance to meet John Green!?

And now is the point where I again realize that I am a nerd. I do nerdy things, like acting really uncool when I meet people. It's in my nature. I am no longer ashamed. I know that I'll probably just do something even more embarrassing today.